wisdom for teenagers

Teenagers’ problems

Living as teenagers, many of them do not understand about what is actually going on with this life in this world. They do not know much about this life as well as the adults because their journey in this life is still a small part of the whole journey that is given by God.

             They will be busy to try to step in their path and try to pass the stage, and often they meet many problems or things in their steps, in their journey to the next stage. So when they are in their stages, they will have difficulty to understand the journey of the other stages which the adults are. They do not understand their adults’ steps, they do not know why the adults behave like they do. And because they cannot understand what is going on in the adults steps, then what they do is just crying ( that is usually the girls do and the boys just hide their feeling). The worst thing for them is when they are not able to look for the answer for those situations, then they run to drugs or do what actually they don’t have to.

            There was a girl who came to meet me and told me that she was so sad to see her parents often quarrel because her father had another woman. And every day she saw how sad her mother was because her mother cried and quarreled with the husband. That happened because the mother did not believe the husband anymore. The girl was sad and she did not know what she had to do.

            She also had other problem, her boy friend left her too. She was very confused and depressed. So she needed advice, not only advice, but she needed a good suggestion or wise advice so that she could go on in her steps in her stage.

            Here is the conversation:

The girl              : I am very sad to see my mother cries every day, and I am so frustrated that my boyfriend left me too.

I                         : What you have to do now is you just try to give support to your mom so that your mother can be strong and brave to walk in her ways in facing the problem.

The girl            : It is very difficult to let him go because I see him every day.

I                         : Ok, now you are in the last grade so you have to prepare yourself to face the final examination. Do you love your mother?

The girl              : Yes, I do.

I                         : Your mother is in the stage where she gets the examination from God, so it is the lesson for her to be patient, to forgive, etc. We do not know what lesson that God is giving her. If she has positive thinking when she is having that problem, then she can get the worthy lessons from it. So in this case, you have to give support to your mother in order that she can pass the test.

The girl              : Yes, I will try.

I                         : And one way to support her is by showing that you are a good student. By looking at you, and seeing that you are a good daughter and a good student, it will wipe her sadness. This will make her feel strong. And you have to learn how to let your boyfriend go. You are still learning about character and learning to understand the other gender through your boyfriend. Look at your mother, she is also learning about your father. Then why are you not learning from your mother's experiences? Her problem is more difficult than yours. So you have to strive to face your problem.

The girl              : It is not so easy to let him go. It is not easy to be patient. What I want is only to be angry and that makes me cruel.

I                         : Yes, I understand. People cannot be patient without the help from God. So when you want to get the help from God in order to be patient, you have to be close to Him. And there are some ways to be close to Him. Two of them are by praying and doing charities. Two are mentioned in Qur’an. Now you have to try to them. I will see the results later, and I will ask you about it.

The girl              : I will try it.